


The Torquay Frog Mystery.

by steeleye



Series: It's Grim Up North. [7]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Call of Cthulhu (RPG), Fawlty Towers
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, F/F, Horror, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steeleye/pseuds/steeleye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They could have gone anywhere for their vacation; San Tropez, Acapulco, The Seychelles. Instead Willow and Kennedy went to Torquay; the sea demons and cultists turned out to be the least of their problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Torquay Frog Mystery.

By Steeleye.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Buffyverse (created by Joss Whedon) or Fawlty Towers (written by John Cleese and Connie Booth) or Call of Cthulhu (information taken from the RPG, CofC published by Chaosium, based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft). I also do not claim authorship of any scripted words that may appear in this fic. I write these stories for fun not profit.

 **Crossover** : The Buffyverse with Fawlty Towers and Call of Cthulhu.

 **Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation:** Written in glorious UK-English which is different to US-English.

 **Timeline:** Set in my ‘Grim up north’ reality. Summer ’04.

 **Words:** Seven chapters of 2500+ words.

 **Warnings:** Femslash, minor bad language and violence.

 **Summary:** They could have gone anywhere for their vacation; San Tropez, Acapulco, The Seychelles. Instead Willow and Kennedy went to Torquay; the sea demons and cultists turned out to be the least of their problems.

0=0=0=0

**Torquay, Devon, England, Summer, 2004.**

This was it, two glorious weeks by themselves; no vampires, no monsters and best of all no Buffy Summers; Kennedy smiled, no Buffy and her increasingly erratic behaviour. Buffy was weird (or so Kennedy always thought) but she’d got weirder still after she’d come back from LA to find Dawn and Faith in bed together. Anybody would think she’d never seen a lesbian before.

This would be Willow and Kennedy’s first real vacation together. They could have gone anywhere; San Tropez, Acapulco, The Seychelles. They could have gone elephant riding in India (no, on second thoughts maybe not elephants) or they could have lazed on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean. After all, Kennedy’s father gave her a _very_ generous salary, so where did they end up? Torquay…in Devon…the so-called ‘English Riviera’.

Even that wouldn’t have been so bad, there were some nice (read, expensive) hotels right there in Torquay that Kennedy could have booked them into. But, oh no, Willow wanted to experience a ‘real’ British hotel with ‘real’ British people. Well, Kennedy sulked, The Dorchester was a ‘real’ British hotel, it had ‘real’ British people and it also had rooms bigger than their apartment. Okay, so the Dorchester was in London, but London was the ‘in’ place to be; Harrods, Fortnum’s and Masson’s, shopping in the Westend. It had bars and night clubs and enough museums and galleries to keep Willow happy for weeks. But no, they had to go to…Torquay.

The only good thing, as far as Kennedy could see, was she’d been able to try out her birthday present from her father. It was low and fast and just the right shade of candy red, it had real leather upholstery and had she mentioned _fast_? She didn’t know what make it was, she didn’t really care, she just knew that it was way _coooool_ and her Daddy had bought it for her. Kennedy loved her father, she always had, she was a real ‘Daddy’s girl’ and she hated her step-mother with a passion. Everything bad that’d happened in her life was down to her step-mother, or so she kept telling Willow, and one day there would be a reckoning.

They’d started out from Cleveland early that morning and hit the motorway shortly afterwards; Kennedy had kept the speed down to right on the speed limit all the way. Oddly Willow’d had this strange ‘frightened rabbit’ look on her face for the last hundred miles or so and had actually stopped talking for most of the journey. Kennedy hadn’t noticed Willow’s white knuckles, she’d been too busy negotiating the narrow country roads (again at just under the speed limit) to really notice. Anyway they were there now and it was only mid afternoon.

Looking up at the white, square building at the other end of the drive, Kennedy sighed. This certainly wasn’t the Ritz, she sighed again (heavily), oh for the Ritz she thought. However, the Fawlty Towers Hotel was at least set in its own grounds; there were lawns and trees and bushes that separated it from its neighbours. It was two stories high and gave the impression of having once been a large Victorian House.

Looking out through the windscreen, Kennedy caught sight of a sign that pointed the way to the hotel, ‘Flowery Twats’ it said. She frowned, she was sure she’d heard some of the young English slayers use that word and not in a ‘nice’ way. It seemed odd to call a hotel ‘Twat’, ‘Flowery’ or otherwise. She glanced across at Willow who’d let go of the dashboard and seemed to be breathing more normally now they’d stopped. Kennedy’s eyebrows lowered when she noticed the finger marks Willow had left in the leather of the dash’.

“Hey,” Kennedy turned and gave Willow a bright smile, “are you sure this is the right place?” she paused hopefully before adding, “We can always go somewhere else you know?”

“Umm,” Willow searched amongst a pile of brochures taken from the glove compartment; she sorted through them until she found the one she was looking for. “Yeah,” she nodded, “this is the one, see?” 

Willow showed Kennedy the picture on the front of a brochure, Kennedy cursed deep inside, damn it, was there no escape? Putting the car back into gear she drove up to the hotel and parked on the little car-park at the front of the building. Switching off the engine she sat for a moment with her hands on the steering wheel staring out through windscreen.

I could start up and be outta here in seconds, she thought, we could go to a proper hotel and…and… No, Kennedy shook her head sadly, that would upset Willow and she didn’t want that, not now, not here; she’d lost too much over the last couple of years to risk losing Willow. No, she’d deal and try to enjoy herself; really it was no worse than some of the places they’d stayed in while on missions. Compared to some of the places they’d stopped at in South America this was luxury. But…that was work; this was supposed to be fun.

The sound of Willow’s door opening broke Kennedy out of her black mood; plastering a happy expression on her face she climbed out of the car. Looking over the top of the vehicle at Willow she told herself, the first cockroach I see we’re outta here! Walking around to the front of the car she opened the trunk (or boot as they called it here). Lifting out their suitcases, Kennedy put them down on the gravel of the car-park and looked around; no eager porters rushed to carry their bags. In fact you could be forgiven for thinking the hotel was deserted.

“Do you want a hand with those?” Willow walked over to help Kennedy with their luggage.

“No,” Kennedy smiled trying not to sound too put upon; she started to collect the suitcases together, “no I’m fine, you know, slayer strength and all.”

Fussing around Kennedy, Willow picked up one small suitcase and led the way towards the front door, while Kennedy followed on behind like some strange two legged beast of burden.

0=0=0=0

Walking into the lobby, Willow looked around and smiled. This didn’t look too bad; it was clean, a little ‘frumpy’ maybe but it was clean…yes, she nodded to herself, very clean. Willow frowned to herself; maybe she should have let Kennedy choose the hotel after all. No! No, this would be fine, she’d wanted to sample a simple British hotel and this certainly looked…simple…and clean.

Looking to her left she saw a double door marked ‘Dining Room’. Great, she smiled; they have a proper dining room. To her right was a door marked ‘Bar’ and they had a bar too, not that she drank a lot. Kennedy liked an occasional glass of wine but she wasn’t what you might call a heavy drinker; unlike Buffy. Willow walked a little further into the lobby as a tall, thin man appeared from below the level of the reception desk, he was dialling a number on an old fashioned looking phone.

“Hi,” Willow smiled as she stepped up to the counter, “you have a room for…”

“Your *name*,” asked the man crossly “please, could I have your name?” 

“Rosenberg?” Willow replied timidly, in the background Kennedy crashed through the doors carrying their cases.

“One second please,” someone had obviously answered the phone at the other end. “Hello?” the man almost shouted down the phone, “Ah, yes Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion.” 

The man on the phone looked at Willow testily and pointed to the registration book, “Could you fill it in, please?” He tapped the page with an impatient finger. “Oh, splendid!” again the man spoke into the phone while Willow wrote her name, “Ah, yes, but ‘when’, Mr O'Reilly?”

“‘Both’ names, please,” the man, whom Willow assumed must be the manager, looked from Willow to where Kennedy stood forlornly amongst their pile of luggage. “Yes,” sighed the manager tiredly, “I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly, that and the potato famine I suppose...”

“Sorry?” Willow was a little confused about what was being said to whom. 

“Would you put ‘both’ your names, please?” once more the manager tapped the book before speaking into the phone again, “Well, will you give me a date?”

“Er, what date do you want?” Willow was really confused now. 

“What?” the manager looked at Willow, “Look its really quite simple,” he said into the phone, “just give me a date.”

“How about the fourth of July?” This was the first date that had sprung into Willow’s mind.

There was a long silent pause as the manager looked from Willow to the phone then over at Kennedy who was still standing amongst the luggage and then back at Willow.

“Go away!” The manager slammed down the phone and Willow was still unsure whether she should go away or whether he’d been talking to whoever was on the other end of the line.

“Umm…” began Willow, only to be cut off in mid ‘umm’ by the manager.

“Good afternoon,” the manager smiled insincerely, “I’m Mr Fawlty, I own and try to run this living hell, and you are…” he spun the register around and read the names, “Miss Rosenberg and Miss Scarpone.” Once again he paused and looked at Willow and then at Kennedy, “I see,” he said under his breath, “I’m not having any of that sort of thing here.”

“I see you’ve been booked into room twenty-one,” Fawlty announced with false jollity, “I’m sorry to say that room’s being redecorated. So, I’ll put you into two singles…” again he spoke quietly, “...at opposite ends of the building.”

Just as Kennedy was about to grab Willow and the luggage prior to heading for a more welcoming hotel. An energetic, petite woman in precariously high heels appeared from what was obviously a back office. She wore a tight skirt suit in a vivid shade of blue and sported a tower of permed and back-combed hair.

“What are you talking about, Basil?” the woman pushed in front of ‘Basil’ and smiled welcomingly at the two Americans, “Twenty-one’s not being redecorated…”

“Yes it is!” Basil blurted out.

“No it isn’t,” smiled the woman as she turned to get the keys for the room.

“But…” Basil tried to get a word in edgeways but was cut off once more by his wife.

“I’m afraid my husband must have got confused,” she handed the keys to Willow before giving Basil a sharp look, “now help these ladies with their luggage.”

“Yes dear, of course…” replied Basil more than a little cowed by his wife who swept back into the office, “…my little puff adder,” he added quietly. “MANUEL!” Basil yelled at the top of his voice, then at a more normal volume he explained, “Manuel will show you to your room…if you're lucky. We have a Spanish porter at the moment,” continued Basil conversationally, “he's from Barcelona. It'd be quicker to train an ape!” 

“Que?” A short dark haired man in a white steward’s jacket appeared hesitantly from the direction of the dinning room.

“Ah! Manuel,” Fawlty greeted the man with an air of resignation, “Take these ladies and their bags to room twenty-one.”

“Que?” repeated Manuel as Fawlty walked over to stand in front of him.

“Stupidissimo!” muttered Fawlty who then clipped Manuel around the back of his head, “Continental cretin!”

“OW!” Manuel complained rubbing the back of his head.

Frowning, Kennedy stepped forward; this was no way to treat the staff, obviously this Fawlty character was a total bully. Catching Manuel’s attention with a quiet cough, Kennedy directed a stream of rapid fire Spanish at the little man. Manuel’s face light up like the sun had just come out. Picking up the bags he led them up the stairs towards room twenty-one while at the same time giving them a running litany of Basil Fawlty’s crimes against humanity and Spanish waiters in particular.

“Wow,” gasped Willow once they’d been shown into their room and Kennedy had tipped Manuel, “that was impressive, where’d you learn to speak Spanish like that?”

“Home,” Kennedy moved across the room and opened the door into the en suite bathroom, her lip curled in disgust, “all the staff were Mexican so you had to speak Spanish to get anything done.” Kennedy walked over to the window and looked out, “My stepmother never quite worked out how things were supposed to work, she just yelled at them in English and complained when nothing got done…didn’t you order a sea view?”

“What? Sorry,” Willow blinked at the sudden change in subject, “Umm yes.”

“Then where is it?” Kennedy asked as Willow walked over to join her, “Apparently I have a strong Mexican accent and sound a little like Speedy Gonzales.”

Determined not to be confused again, Willow looked out the window; Kennedy was right there did seem to be a complete lack of sea-view. Just as she was about to turn away and telephone Fawlty something caught her eye.

“There!” Willow pointed, “The sea!”

“Where?” Kennedy squinted out the window she couldn’t see the sea anywhere.

“Right there,” Willow pointed harder, “between that roof and the tree.”

Following Willow’s pointing finger, Kennedy caught sight of sunlight glinting on water. Sure enough there was a small triangle of sea; if it hadn’t been for Willow pointing it out and her own enhanced slayer eyesight she’d have completely missed it.

“You don’t like it, do you?” Willow sat down on the bed and looked up at her girlfriend, “The hotel I mean.”

Turning and looking down at the sad looking little witch, Kennedy sighed; no she didn’t like it, the room was too small, the bathroom didn’t have a shower, just a bath and to make matters worse it looked as if it would hardly fit one person let alone two. Willow had so wanted this to work, for it to be something of an adventure, a sort of learning adventure; Kennedy knew that Willow’s happiness would stand or fall on what she said next.

“Anywhere with you in it,” Kennedy sat on the bed next to Willow and took her hand, “is just perfect by me.”

Resting her head against Kennedy’s shoulder, Willow looked up into her girlfriend’s eyes. “How do you do that?” She asked.

“Do what?” Kennedy put her arm around Willow.

“You always totally know the right thing to say,” Willow sighed contentedly.

“Must be some sort of slayer ability,” Kennedy joked, “before I changed I was always such a self-involved, pushy, obnoxious bitch!”

0=0=0=0


	2. Chapter 2

2.

**Later the same afternoon.**

Having taken what remained of the afternoon to unpack and bathe (separately) in the wholly inadequate bath tub. The two young women went downstairs; being too early for dinner they walked into the bar for a pre-dinner drink. Having been reluctantly served by Fawlty, who appeared to imply that Kennedy was too young to drink, they went and sat down by the window.

“So,” Willow sipped her drink, a fruity concoction with an umbrella in it, “what do you wanna do tonight?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kennedy toyed with her glass of wine, “we could go out later and sample the night life. I noticed some clubs and bars on the sea front we could check those out.”

“Hey,” Willow smiled, “we’re on vacation, remember?”

“Yeah,” Kennedy agreed, “but I feel the need to slay.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Willow reached over and squeezed Kennedy’s hand, “who am I to stand in your way?” Willow frowned as Kennedy moved her hand away, “What’s up?”

“It’s him,” Kennedy nodded towards the bar where Fawlty stood, “he keeps staring at us like he expects us to tear each others clothes off or something.”

“Does he?” Willow glanced towards the bar, “Okay,” she smiled her eyes alight with mischief, “lets give him something to watch,” reaching over she placed her hand high up on Kennedy’s thigh.

0=0=0=0

“Just look at that,” Fawlty tutted with disgust but didn’t take his eyes off his two American guests, “disgusting I call it, oh well that’s the way of the world nowadays. Wasn’t like that when we were young, eh Major?”

“What’s that, Fawlty?” Major Gowen, the hotel’s longest surviving resident put down his newspaper and looked up at Fawlty.

“Those two,” Fawlty nodded over to where Willow and Kennedy sat, “un-natural’s what I call it.”

“Spoke to ‘em earlier,” Gowen looked around innocently at the two young women, “seemed charmin’ enough gals to me.” 

“Yes, but that’s how it starts,” Fawlty’s eyes narrowed as he watched the redhead stroke the brunette’s thigh and listened to them giggle.

“Start what?” Gowen really had no idea what Fawlty was talking about.

“The end of civilisation as we know it,” Fawlty leaned against the bar his eyes glued on the couple.

“Oh,” Gowen sighed, he was trying to read the cricket scores, “I expect they’re old school chums.”

“School chums?” Fawlty looked at the Major Gowen aghast, “I’m sure ‘old school chums’ didn’t act like that when I was at school.”

“Well, they wouldn’t, would they?” explained Gowen.

“What?” Fawlty tore his eyes away from the young women and looked questioningly at the old soldier.

“Well,” the Major went on, “if they were still at school they wouldn’t be ‘old school chums’ would they?”

“No I suppose they wouldn’t,” Fawlty admitted slowly.

“There you are then,” Major Gowen went back to reading about the First Test between England and Australia.

“Anyway, it’s unnatural,” Fawlty reiterated not letting the subject drop, “two healthy young women like that.”

“What?” Gowen looked up from his paper again; he’d already forgotten their previous conversation, “What’s unnatural, eh?”

“Those two,” Fawlty again gestured towards Willow and Kennedy.

“I’m sorry Fawlty,” the Major put down his paper once more; “I don’t see what you mean.”

“They bat for the other side, Major,” whispered Fawlty.

“Good grief!” shocked Gowen turned around to stare at the two young women, “You don’t mean…”

“Yes,” Fawlty smiled triumphantly.

“Y-you mean,” the Major could hardly speak he was so surprised, “they’re Australians!?”

0=0=0=0

Sitting in the dining room, Willow picked at her food; she looked up at Kennedy and smiled apologetically.

“It’s not very good is it?” the meal had taken ages to arrive and when it did it was cold.

“Hmm?” Kennedy was listening to a conversation between Fawlty and another couple at a table on the other side of the room so didn’t hear Willow speak at first.

“Excuse me,” said the middle-aged man, who was sitting across from his wife, he tried to attract Fawlty’s attention.

“Yes?” Fawlty went over to the man’s table, a big insincere smile on his face.

“Look,” the man was going about this all wrong, Kennedy shook her head in disgust, people just didn’t know how to complain. “We've been waiting here for about half an hour,” continued the man, “now, I mean I gave the waiter our order...” 

“Oh, ‘him’,” Fawlty tutted and shook his head in false sympathy, “he's hopeless, isn't he?”

“Yes,” agreed the man timidly, “well I don't wish to complain, but when he does bring something he's got it wrong.” 

“You think I don't know?” sighed Fawlty, “I mean, you only have to eat here. We have to live with it. I had to pay his fare all the way from Barcelona, but you can't get the staff you see. It's a nightmare.”

Fawlty walked off as the man’s wife leaned towards her husband.

“You were supposed to be complaining to ‘him’,” she protested.

“Sweetie?” Willow touched Kennedy’s hand to get her attention. 

“Sorry,” Kennedy turned to look at Willow; she smiled apologetically for her display of bad manners, “what was that?”

“I said, it’s not very good is it?” she gestured at her dinner with her knife and fork.

“No,” Kennedy neatly laid her knife and fork down on her plate.

“You’re resisting the urge to say ‘I told you so’, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Kennedy nodded her head.

“I’m sorry honey,” Willow frowned, she’d screwed up again, “I should have listened to you.”

“We’ll put it down to experience, huh?” Kennedy reached under the table and patted Willow’s leg, “What you say, we get changed, go out, have a meal in a restaurant then go to a club and I’ll give you a display of hot dancing and vampire slayage!”

“At the same time,” challenged Willow with a grin.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Kennedy stood up and held out her hand to Willow, “come on then let’s get out of here.”

0=0=0=0

“Going out are we?” Fawlty called as the girls headed for the front door.

“Yes!” Kennedy said just a little too sharply, what was it with this guy he seemed to be everywhere at once.

“Don’t forget,” Fawlty looked down at something on the top of the reception desk, “we lock the doors at eleven o’clock.”

“Thank-you,” Willow called as she grabbed hold of Kennedy’s arm and pulled her towards the door, she could feel the tension in her girlfriend’s body; if they didn’t get out of here soon there’d be an unfortunate accident involving a hotel owner and a wooden stake.

“What is it with that guy?” Kennedy’s patience was getting frayed, she’d never met anyone so rude before…well that wasn’t quite true but no one that rude should be in charge of a hotel, it was un-natural…it’d never happen at The Dorchester or The Savoy or the....

“Come on,” Willow pulled Kennedy along behind her as they headed out onto the road, “tomorrow we can book out and you can find us a proper hotel.”

It took them about ten minutes to walk down to the sea front, here they found a number of clubs and bars. But first things first, thought Kennedy, they had to find some place to eat; if she was going to go slaying she needed to refuel first. Walking into the older less touristy part of the town they quickly found a respectable looking restaurant and went in. Having been shown to their table, they ordered a drink as they perused the menu. Willow eyed Kennedy’s drink. 

“I’ve noticed,” Willow began slowly as she read her menu, “you don’t drink much do you?” she hesitated before continuing, there was still a lot the two women didn’t know about each other and Willow didn’t want to upset her girl by prying. “I mean you have precisely one glass of wine or whatever, then you go onto sodas.”

“Unlike Buffy, you mean?” Kennedy looked up from menu.

“Well, yeah,” Willow couldn’t deny it, Buffy had taken to drinking a lot recently.

“Sorry,” Kennedy could see she’d upset Willow with her remark about Buffy. “It’s just that I’ve seen what drinking too much can do to people. I’ve nothing against having a glass of wine or a cocktail, I just like to keep in control.”

Hiding behind her menu, Willow thought about this for a moment. Kennedy liked to be in control; you only had to look at their love making to see that, not that Willow was complaining. So, she supposed, keeping a check on what she drank was natural for her. Willow smiled sadly, it was a pity Buffy didn’t have the same attitude.

After a good meal the two women walked along the sea front looking out at the sea and watched the lights on the boats anchored in the harbour. Eventually their feet led them back towards where the bars and clubs where situated. They watched for a while as groups of happy young people moved from club to club or bar to bar in noisy cheerful groups.

“You know,” Kennedy held on tightly to Willow’s arm, “sometimes when I see people enjoying themselves like that, not knowing the evil that lies just below the surface… Well, it sometimes makes me feel very old.”

“Aw,” Willow nuzzled Kennedy’s neck making her smile, “poor baby, that’s what they call ‘responsibility’, it’s a slayer thing.”

“Well I don’t like it,” Kennedy pouted like a ten year old, “it sucks all the fun out of life.”

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” Willow smiled happily.

“What’s that?” Kennedy replied gloomily.

“Lets get in there and kick some evil butt!” Willow smiled brightly and was rewarded by an answering smile from Kennedy.

“Yeah!” the slayer grinned, “Lets!”

0=0=0=0

The club was packed, noisy and had at least two vampires in it. Bloodsuckers were always drawn to places containing crowds of hot, sweaty young people out for a good time. Kennedy soon isolated one of the vampires, with a grin over her shoulder at Willow she homed in on the vamp like a heat seeking missile. Going up to the vampire, she started to flirt outrageously.

This always impressed Willow, who was generally useless at flirting. What impressed her the most was the way Kennedy could flirt with a guy at all. Here was a woman who claimed to have never gone on even one date with a guy, ever! Who said that she felt nothing in anyway sexual towards boys, yet there she was almost tearing the vamps clothes off right there on the dance floor. Willow mentally noted this down as something else she needed to ask Kennedy about. Like a lamb to the slaughter the vampire innocently followed Kennedy outside. Less than five minutes later, she was back at Willow’s side.

“You’re turn,” Kennedy spoke loud enough to be heard over the music but not loud enough to draw attention to themselves.

“What!?” Willow started to panic.

“Come on,” Kennedy smiled reassuringly, “big powerful witch like you should know how to deal with some lame local vamp. There,” Kennedy pointed across the room at a guy who looked about twenty years out of place, “go get him tiger…I’ll be right behind you.”

Uncertainly, Willow walked up to the guy, not knowing what to say or do; she decided to play on her strengths.

“Hey, vamp-boy,” Willow tapped the guy on the shoulder, he turned to look at her, “bite me!”

The vampire looked down in surprise at the sharpened, hardwood, chopstick that had suddenly materialised in his chest. With a groan he quietly turned to dust and settled to the floor. Looking around Willow saw that no one appeared to have noticed the vamps demise; she turned to stand in front of Kennedy.

“I’m impressed,” Kennedy grinned fit to burst, “you’re soooo cooool…lets dance!”

0=0=0=0

Having danced off her post slayage high, Kennedy whispered in Willow’s ear suggesting that they might go back to the hotel and try out the bed. Eagerly Willow agreed, for one thing her feet were starting to hurt and for another her still hyped up girlfriend was a real turn on and just so hot. Walking back to the hotel arm in arm, they soon reached the front door. Kennedy tried the handle only to find it locked.

“Darn!” Willow muttered angrily, she wasn’t looking forward to waking Fawlty and hearing all his sneering, sarcastic comments, even if they were leaving in the morning.

“Not to worry,” Kennedy announced with that certain brand of un-infectious slayer optimism that really grated on their non-slayer friends. “Bet we can find another way in.”

They walked around the hotel to the back door, only to find it locked as well.

“Now what do we do?” Willow sighed dejectedly.

“Willow Rosenberg!” Kennedy grabbed Willow by both her arms and turned her to face herself, “just what is it with you? The world’s most powerful witch being stopped by a mere locked door? Anyone would think you’d not just dusted a vamp and didn’t have a hot and sexy girlfriend to get into bed with.”

“You know,” the famous ‘Willow resolve face’ appeared, “you’re right! A mere,” Willow squinted at the lock on the door, “Yale lock cannot stand between me and multiple orgasms!”

Just as she was raising her hand to cast the spell that would banish that all too solid lock; Kennedy took hold of her arm and said;

“Shhh!”

“What?” Willow really wanted to get indoors and get naked; red hot, screaming-wild-monkey-sex awaited.

“That,” frowned Kennedy, “sounds like chanting.”

“Oh no,” groaned Willow as the prospect of Kennedy’s naked body receded into the distance, “where’s it coming from?”

“This way,” Kennedy took Willow’s hand and led her into the bushes behind the hotel. 

Working their way around the building they came to a small window down near the ground, it obviously opened onto a cellar. Kennedy got down on her knees and examined the window; it was locked and had been painted out to stop any inquisitive eyes from seeing what was going on inside.

“Can you see anything?” Willow asked.

“No but I can hear something,” Kennedy listened hard, “sounds like some really weird language.

“Here,” Willow got down on her knees next to Kennedy and listened, “it’s no language I know…but I can feel magics in there.”

Standing up Kennedy pulled Willow to her feet. “We won’t be leaving here tomorrow, will we?”

“Sorry sweetie,” it was a disappointment to both of them, but Willow knew where their duty lay, “we’ll investigate, I’ll negate their magic and you can slay.”

“You’re sort of assuming they’re evil,” Kennedy pointed out reasonably.

“On the balance of probabilities,” sighed Willow, “they’re probably plotting to destroy the world.” Willow paused for a moment before asking, “Why do people do that?”

“Don’t know,” Kennedy shrugged her shoulders as she led the way back to the kitchen door, “perhaps their mommies and daddies didn’t love them enough?”

“Hey,” Willow cast the spell to open the door, “my mom and dad didn’t love me enough and I… Oh!” Willow saw Kennedy might have a point considering her own track record, “Perhaps you’re right.”

Ten minutes later, Willow lay in bed waiting for Kennedy to join her. After switching out the lights, Kennedy jumped into bed to the accompaniment of protesting springs.

“Come here,” she giggled as she ran her hands over Willow’s lithe body.

“That would be my preferred option,” admitted Willow just before she was silenced by Kennedy’s lips.

0=0=0=0


	3. Chapter 3

3.

**The following morning.**

“What shall we do today?” Willow asked as she sat on the edge of the bed; they’d just come back to their room after breakfast.

“I think the beach would be nice,” Kennedy glanced out of the window where the sun was shining brightly on the tiny section of sea that could be seen from their window. “I spoke to Mrs Fawlty, she gave me directions to a cove further down the coast, she says people hardly even know it’s there it’s so secluded.”

“Umm,” Willow looked up at her girlfriend and frowned, “chanting in the basement, remember?”

“Well,” Kennedy started to move around the room taking things out of drawers and cupboards and throwing them onto the bed, “if you want to chant in the basement you can, but I think it’ll be more fun to go to the beach.”

“But…”

“Willow,” Kennedy started to undress, “I expect they’ll still be chanting tonight, we can kick their asses then…in the mean time, vacation remember?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Willow lost all interest in people chanting in the basement as she watched Kennedy strip down to her underwear. “A day at the beach would be nice,” Willow watched as Kennedy slipped out of her bra and panties and started to put on a 1960’s retro-style, red bikini with big white polka dots. “You know, recharge the batteries and such,” she sighed as Kennedy finished changing.

“Come on,” Kennedy walked into the little bathroom, “get changed there’s sunshine a-wasting.”

“I’ll go like this,” Willow stood up and gestured to her jeans and blouse as she watched Kennedy brush her teeth.

“HUH!?” Kennedy mumbled her mouth full of toothpaste and toothbrush, “Hor hot hohing hike hat!”

“What?” Willow frowned; Kennedy rinsed out her mouth and dried her lips on a towel before turning back to glare at Willow.

“I thought you might say something like that,” Kennedy marched briskly out of the bathroom and brushed passed Willow who watched her girlfriend with something approaching trepidation. Kennedy searched in a drawer then turned and held out a smallish box wrapped in brightly coloured gift paper, “Here.”

“What is it?” suspiciously Willow took the box from her girlfriend’s hand.

“It’s an itsy, bitsy, teenie weenie, green polka dot bikini,” smiled Kennedy, “I didn’t think yellow went with your colouring so I got green…it matches mine only its green.”

“Yeah, okay I get the whole green thing,” Willow held up the bikini, it was indeed a twin of Kennedy’s, only green. “Have I mentioned the whole body issues thing...and like redhead here, too much sun and I turn into one big freckle!”

“I like your freckles for one,” Kennedy took something else out of another drawer, “factor three-thousand sun block for another,” she threw the bottle on the bed. “Come on,” she grinned, “solar radiation a-wasting.”

It only took Willow five minutes to change into her new bikini; she looked at herself in the mirror and moaned unhappily. Opening the wardrobe she took out some clothes. By the time she was ready to go Willow was wearing a white sun-dress over her bikini, sandals a big floppy sun hat and dark glasses. By comparison, Kennedy just wore her swimsuit, a pair of hi-heel sandals a sun-hat and her coolest shades; she tutted and shook her head at Willow.

“Baby steps,” she sighed quietly heading for the door, “baby steps.”

0=0=0=0

Normally it would have taken about fifteen minutes to get from the hotel to the cove. With Kennedy driving her sports car it took a mere nine point four-five. Parking up under some low trees off the twisting, narrow road that led to the cliffs above the cove; Kennedy threw open her door, got out and breathed in the fresh salt air.

“This looks great!” she turned to watch Willow climb out of the other side of the car.

Still trembling, Willow hung on to the passenger door as she waited for her stomach to catch up with her; it still seemed to be back somewhere near the hotel. Her wayward stomach was soon forgotten when her eyes took in the beauty of the scene. A warm, fresh breeze blew into her face off the sea; the water was a flawless blue with little flecks of white on the crests of the waves as they rolled gently towards the shore. The sky was a deep blue that seemed to go on forever.

“Worth the drive?” Kennedy asked from the other side of the car.

“Yeah,” still a bit numb Willow nodded her head, “I can see now why they call it the ‘English Riviera’.”

“Yeah, well,” Kennedy retrieved the bag she’d packed, from the car before shutting the door, “it’s not as good as the real Riviera, but it’ll do. Come-on lets go!”

Shutting her door, Willow followed Kennedy towards a narrow path that led down to the beach below. As she walked she watched Kennedy skip down the path and suddenly felt very old. Frowning at herself she put away these feelings of approaching dotage. Kennedy was a slayer, she could move like that without even thinking about it. Where as poor ‘normal’ Willow had to be careful not to trip on the uneven surface and fall to her death on the sharp jagged rocks below. Looking carefully over the edge of the path, Willow gulped; sure enough, fifty feet below her sat sharp, jagged, rocks just waiting for her to fall on them.

“Hurry up slow coach!” Kennedy cried from further down the path.

Watching Kennedy run lightly down the path towards the beach (in heels no less), Willow started to feel old and ordinary again.

“Damn-it-all,” she sighed, she could see the beach from here; she closed her eyes and said some words of power a moment later she found herself standing on the beach waiting for Kennedy to arrive, she smiled at the expression on the girl’s face.

“Coool!” laughed Kennedy as she ran up to Willow and kissed her lightly on the lips, “you’re such a wicked witch!” 

Suddenly Willow didn’t feel so old and feeble anymore.

0=0=0=0

“Willow Rosenberg, you are such a prude!” Kennedy, having coxed Willow out of her sun-dress, was trying to get her to go topless.

“Am not,” Willow held her arms over her breasts preventing Kennedy from removing her bra.

“Are too,” Kennedy knelt on the rug next to her and put her hands on her hips, she, of course, was already topless. “You realise I could throw you on the floor and remove that top by force?”

“You realise,” Willow countered, “I could turn you into a fury, bikini wearing rodent.”

“But you wouldn’t,” for a moment Kennedy didn’t sound as sure of herself as she normally did, “would you?”

Willow said nothing and turned her head to look at the sea.

“Oh come-on, Willow,” Kennedy pleaded, “you’ll get all bikini lines and stuff.”

Willow studiously ignored her girlfriend.

“Look there’s no one around,” Kennedy pointed out, “you can lie on your tummy no one will see.”

Willow glanced back at Kennedy.

“Willow,” Kennedy almost whined, “look, you get to have me rub sun cream on your back…and on your boobs that’ll be fun.”

Willow considered this last, Kennedy had enjoyed it when she’d done it to her so maybe…

“Oh alright then,” Willow relented as she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra.”

“Willow Rosenberg,” Kennedy laughed, “you are just so easy!”

“What?” Willow paused in her bra removal.”

“All it took was for me to suggest I’d rub your boobs and you cave!” Kennedy giggled covering her mouth with her hand, “Not that I’m complaining, but I had this whole speech about you being a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman who shouldn’t worry about what people think or say…which you shouldn’t.” Kennedy paused to draw breath, “I was quite proud of it, but all I had to do was say I’d play with your boobs and off comes the bra and away go the inhibitions.”

“Yeah,” Willow hung her head in shame, “you’ve found me out; I’m just a slut.” Looking up she grinned, “So what about the erotic boob massage then?”

Watching as Willow lay down on her back, Kennedy reached for the sun cream and squirted some into her hand. Hesitating she sniffed the air and then she sniffed the sun cream, puzzled she looked at Willow.

“Can you smell fish?”

“No…” Willow sat up and took a deep breath, “Oh god yes!”

The smell had suddenly got worse, standing up the two women looked around, Kennedy looked out to sea while Willow studied the rocks that fringed the walls of the cove.

“Um, Willow,” Kennedy said slowly and quietly, “this frog fear thing of yours…just how bad is it?”

“Oh,” Willow smiled and turned to face Kennedy, “I got over that years ago, why’d ask?”

“Because of that,” Kennedy pointed to the shore line.

Turning to see where Kennedy was pointing Willow’s brain jumped out of her skull and started to yammer. Gone was the ‘strong, beautiful, intelligent woman’ who didn’t care what the world said about her if she took off her bra. Back, was the screaming, terrified four year old who struck out frantically at the slippery, slimy, hopping, croaking horrors that had attacked her as she’d been paddling in the garden pond.

As Willow stood there, eyes and mouth wide open in a silent scream, Kennedy watched the creature in fascination. This was no ordinary demon; for a start it clutched a harpoon-like spear and wore a loin cloth made of what looked like seaweed. It stood just less than six foot tall, it was generally human shaped with two legs and two arms, all in the right places. Its skin was a sort of shiny grey-green colour and webbed between its toes and fingers. Its head was round with two large, lifeless, fish-like eyes that stared unblinkingly at her. It hissed menacingly at her opening its mouth and exposing a row of sharp looking pointed teeth. Just as she was starting to think that; okay demon, not a problem slayer here. Another two demons rose out of the water and started to wade towards the shore. Telling herself there was no time to waste, Kennedy started to run towards the first sea monster.

Deflecting the demon’s spear thrust with her forearm, Kennedy grabbed hold of the weapons shaft with her hand as she turned and sort of body-checked the creature knocking the wind out of it. The creature stood there stunned as she jabbed it in the throat with her elbow and yanked the spear from its grasp. Confident that the first creature was out of the fight, at least temporarily, she turned a full one-hundred-and-eighty degrees, and hurled the spear with all her strength and momentum at one of the monsters that was still wading to shore.

The spear flew straight and true taking her target squarely in the chest. The demon grasped at the spear shaft that stuck out of its chest, with a full twelve inches sticking out of its back. It made a croaking, gurgling noise as it spat blood into the water. Its legs gave way as it fell dead into the waves to be washed out to sea. Sensing the first demon had got up and was moving to renew its attack, Kennedy lashed out behind her with her foot not even bothering to check where the demon was. She was gratified to hear a loud *OMPH!* as she once more knocked the wind out of her would be assailant.

Waiting for the third demon to come into the shallow water, Kennedy watched as it readied its club to strike her down. Ducking under its clumsy blow, she hit the demon in the stomach with her shoulder. The demon grunted as she heaved upwards and sent it sprawling onto its back to thrash in the water. Taking a quick step forward, she struck out with her foot landing a bone shattering blow between its eyes. The demon jerked spasmodically before lying still with the little waves washing over its dead form.

Before she’d time to turn, Kennedy found herself ensnared in the first demon’s grip as it wrapped its arms around her. She wriggled about getting one of her arms free as the demon started to pull her towards deeper water. Once her arm was free, she jabbed with her elbow at the creature's head while at the same time stamping down on its foot. Although neither blow landed with any great force, it was enough to make the demon let go of her and stumble away giving her room to move. However, the demon recovered quickly and lunged at her grabbing hold of her wrist.

Twisting her hand in such away as she could push down on the demon’s wrist with the edge of her hand, Kennedy broke and reversed the hold so she was now holding onto the demon’s wrist and hand. Giving it a vicious twist, she got the creature into an arm lock and struck out with her foot. Smashing into the demon’s knee, she felt the creature’s knee cap shatter under her foot. The demon screamed in agony as its leg gave way and it collapsed into the water. 

Letting go of the demon’s hand, Kennedy spun in place hitting the demon in the side of the head with her foot. Once again she felt bone crumble under her blow. Gurgling and shaking violently the demon lay in the water trying weakly to drag itself out into deeper water. Standing astride the demon, she reached down took the demon’s head in both her hands and twisted. Hearing the crack as the demon’s neck broke she let it fall into the surf and ran back to the shore where Willow stood still frozen to the spot.

It was only when she’d got to Willow that she noticed the uncertain applause coming from a small group of holiday makers who stood huddled around the bottom of the path leading to the beach. Smiling reassuringly at the frightened people, Kennedy started to try and comfort Willow.

“Frogs…frogs!” muttered Willow into Kennedy’s hair.

“There, there, baby,” Kennedy pulled Willow close and stroked her back, “all the nasty frogs have gone now.”

“No-no,” Willow pushed herself away from Kennedy’s embrace and pointed towards the sea, “FROGS!”

Looking over her shoulder, Kennedy saw a dozen or more sea-demons advance out of the waves towards the shore. Taking a firm hold of Willow’s wrist she dragged her towards the path leading up the cliff.

“RUN!” she yelled at the tourists who were staring at the demons in terror.

Pushing people up the path, Kennedy felt Willow slip her grasp, turning she saw her take a couple of steps towards the advancing monsters.

“WILLOW!” Kennedy reached for her as the redhead raised her hand towards the demonic onslaught.

“Thicken,” Willow said in a quiet voice and without warning the demons found it really difficult to move as the air and water thickened around them.

“Cool,” Kennedy took Willow by the hand again.

“We better go,” the fear had left Willow’s eyes now, “that won’t hold them for long.”

Herding the tourists up the path before them Willow and Kennedy made it back to their car without further incident. As they watched the would-be bathers climb into their own vehicles and drive off, Kennedy smiled at her girlfriend.

“What happened?” she asked, “You went all catatonic for a while back there; then you’re all vengeful, wicked Willow again.”

“I remembered what you said about me being a strong, beautiful and intelligent woman,” Willow gave her lover a relieved smile, “and I said to myself; self, this is no way for a powerful witch to act, being afraid of frogs…can we go home now?”

“Umm,” Kennedy removed the car keys from around her wrist where they’d been secured by a stout piece of cord, “unless you want to go down there again,” she gestured towards the beach, “we’ll have to drive home topless.”

“What the hell!” Willow moved towards the passenger door, “I’m, a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman, what do I care what people think?”

Shaking her head, Kennedy unlocked the doors, “I’ve unleashed a monster!”

0=0=0=0


	4. Chapter 4

4.

**Fawlty Towers Hotel.**

Bringing the car to a halt, Kennedy switched off the engine. For a moment she just sat quietly looking out across the hotel’s front lawn, with a resigned sigh she turned in her seat and looked first at the hotel (there was no one in sight) then secondly at Willow (who, like herself, was still topless).

“Look,” Kennedy began comfortingly, “it’s the middle of the day everyone should be out there’ll be no one to see us.”

“What should we care if anyone sees us?” Willow asked much to Kennedy’s surprise, “We’ve got nothing to be, like ashamed of.”

Opening her door, Willow stepped out onto the car park, hurriedly Kennedy followed suit.

“Don’t you want to cast a privacy spell or something?” Kennedy asked hopefully as she hurried to catch up with Willow who was heading inexorably towards the front door.

“Why?” Willow grinned confidently over her shoulder, “I’m a woman and I’m proud of my body, why should I hide it away?”

Groaning internally, Kennedy followed on behind Willow, she was beginning to really regret the boost she’d given to Willow’s self-confidence; to think, she’d only wanted her to sunbathe topless…oh well it couldn’t be helped.

“Anyway like you say,” Willow smiled reassuringly as she stopped to open the door, “it’s the middle of the day…there’ll be no one around.”

The two young women walked into the hotel lobby which was full of people.

“This is typical. Absolutely typical...of the kind of...ARSE I have to put up with from you people.” Basil Fawlty stood in the middle of the lobby haranguing the hotel guests. “You ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I'm trying to run a hotel. Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that?”

Stopping dead in her tracks, Willow stared at the irate hotel owner and the crowd of people with wide eyes.

“Of course not,” continued Fawlty not having noticed the entrance of the two half naked (to be absolutely honest Willow and Kennedy were some what more than ‘half naked’, more like 90% naked) young women standing by the door, “you're all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren't you?” Fawlty took a deep breath. “Well let me tell you something,” he jabbed his finger at his terrified audience, “this is exactly how Nazi Germany started. A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble. Well I've had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I've had enough. I've had it. Come on, pack your bags and get out.”

Fawlty turned and pointed to the door, seeing the scantily clad young women for the first time he froze in mid point. The eyes of the hotel guests turned to follow Fawlty’s pointing finger until they too were looking at the two young women. Kennedy groaned and rolled her eyes heavenwards as the guest’s gaze swept over her. Having gone to a girls boarding school, she had little in the way of nudity taboos so was mostly unfazed by the amount of attention she was receiving. Anyway she considered herself ‘so hot’ she’d have probably been more upset if people hadn’t looked (sometimes it helped having a big ego). On the other hand Willow wasn’t, she made a strangled little noise in the back of her throat; crossed her arms to cover her breasts and ran like a scolded cat for the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Walking nonchalantly across the lobby, Kennedy stopped in front of Fawlty, she noticed that his eyes seemed to be riveted to her breasts.

“Never seen a girl’s boobs before?” Kennedy smirked, “I have a face too.”

“W-what?” Fawlty shook his head as he snapped out of his trance.

“Up here,” Kennedy pointed with two fingers at her eyes, “eyes, eyes,” she repeated, “now can I have my room key?”

“Of course you can, Miss Scarpone,” Mrs Fawlty had appeared from somewhere and was walking across the lobby towards Kennedy clutching the key in question, “Basil!” she said sharply before handing Kennedy her key.

“W-what?” Fawlty repeated becoming aware of his wife’s presence for the first time, “What is it my little nest of vipers…?”

Not bothering to stay and listen to the rest of the conversation between Fawlty and his wife, Kennedy pushed her way through the rapidly dispersing crowd and headed upstairs.

0=0=0=0

“I’ll never be able to go downstairs again!” Willow wailed as she sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed; she had her own robe wrapped around her shoulders while she held Kennedy’s tightly under her chin and whimpered; “Everyone was looking, they saw my boobs Kennie.”

“And very nice boobs they are too,” commented Kennedy matter-of-factly as she walked through into the bathroom, “do you want to use the bath first?”

“I’ll never be able to show my face down there again,” Willow looked at the door as if she expected it to vanish and reveal hundreds of hotel guests leering at her breasts.

Not having got a coherent reply, Kennedy started to run a bath for herself, once again she cursed the small size of the tub; sex in a giant sized tub was so relaxing and exactly what Willow needed right now!

“Whatever happened to that strong, beautiful and confident woman who stopped those demons in their tracks?” Kennedy asked as she poured bubble bath into the tub.

“She ran away and hid under a stone,” replied Willow miserably, “and anyway that was mostly you, I just stood there and panicked.”

Once again, Kennedy shrugged her shoulders before stripping off her bikini bottoms and climbing into the tub, she sighed with contentment as she lowered herself into the hot water.

“Can’t we go home?” Willow’s head appeared around the corner of the door frame and she looked pleadingly at Kennedy, “This whole vacation’s been a disaster…next time, in fact from now on, you chose the vacation destinations and the hotels and-and everything.”

“Stop that!” Kennedy looked up at Willow from the depths of her bubble bath, “Okay the hotel is a dump, but the town’s not bad and we can’t go yet,” Kennedy saw the look of disappointment on Willow’s face. “We’ve still got chanting to look into and sea-demons to track down,” a bright smile split Kennedy’s face, “hey, maybe they’re connected.”

“Trust me to get a ‘demon half full’ type girlfriend,” Willow moped as she disappeared from the doorway. “I’ll have to phone Giles and ask him about those demons, I’ve got no books or anything with me.”

“No need,” Kennedy lifted a leg from her bath and ran her hand across her smooth, wet skin; she smiled appreciatively, “I’m pretty sure they were ‘Deep Ones’.”

“Deep one’s what?” Willow called from the bedroom.

“No,” Kennedy went to work with the soap and bath brush, “Deep Ones, they’re not really demons as such more of an ancient type of life form, but they’re pretty malignant. I’m sure they have a city somewhere off the coast nearby.”

“And you know this how?” Willow reappeared in the doorway.

“Hey,” Kennedy started to scrub her back, “I was five years a Potential and although my Watcher was a pig he was very good at what he did. Also, I might not be a genius like you, but I can remember stuff.”

“Here, let me do that,” having lost her robes, Willow knelt down by the side of the bath and took the brush from Kennedy’s hand; she started to scrub her girlfriends back, vigorously. “The advantages of having a properly trained slayer as a girlfriend.”

“I knew it,” Kennedy sighed dramatically, “you just wanted me for my mind…I’m just a walking occult encyclopaedia to you!” Kennedy gave a faux sob, “I have a body too, you know?”

Grabbing hold of Willow, Kennedy dragged her into the bath with her; damn the size of the tub, she thought as she started to pull off Willow’s panties to the accompaniment of her surprised screams; she’d make do!

0=0=0=0

“So about these Deep One things,” it was some time later and Willow was kneeling on the bed, Kennedy knelt behind her drying her hair with the hair dryer.

“What? Yeah, Deep Ones,” Kennedy thought for a moment as she switched off the drier and started to brush Willow’s hair, “Deep Ones; right, as you saw they’re basically human shaped and quite honestly they’re not any stronger than most humans. They work together and they use weapons, usually spears and clubs, sometimes nets also they occasionally they use firearms taken from humans.”

“Wow,” Willow looked at her girlfriend’s reflection in the mirror, like Xander said smart girls were so hot.

“There’s more,” satisfied with her work on Willow’s hair Kennedy sat down and let Willow start to brush hers, “failing accidents they’re more or less immortal…”

“More or less?” Willow paused in her brushing.

“Well, no one’s ever seen one collect their old age pension,” Kennedy pointed out. “They’re arrogant; which is why they kept attacking even when I was kicking their butts. They probably couldn’t believe I was beating them.”

“Yay for slayer girlfriends is what I say,” cheered Willow.

“They worship Father Dagon and Mother Hydra,” Kennedy glanced around at Willow, “and live in underwater cities. Like I say there’s one near here and I know there’s one off Massachusetts.”

“I’m impressed!” Willow stopped brushing, “Not only is she beautiful but she has her head full of useful demony facts.” 

Leaning forward, Willow kissed Kennedy on the lips. Taking hold of Willow’s shoulders Kennedy pushed her onto her back and slid herself half on top of the redhead.

“I haven’t got to the best bit yet,” Kennedy grinned as she slid her hand across Willow’s body, until it came to rest between her legs.

“Tell me more,” Willow shivered at the touch of her girlfriend’s fingers.

“Some of these Deep One things,” Kennedy explained as she stroked Willow, “lust after human women…”

“Just like you…” gasped Willow as her hips began to squirm.

“No I only lust after you,” Kennedy pointed out, she paused to run her tongue across Willow’s nipples.

“Ooooooh, yessss!” Willow moaned.

“So, where was I?” Kennedy looked down into Willow’s face.

“Lust!” Willow breathed heavily.

“Oh, yeah, they breed with human females…” explained Kennedy.

“Oh, god,” moaned Willow as she writhed under Kennedy’s fingers.

“They produce hybrids…” Kennedy went on seemingly oblivious to Willow’s squeals of pleasure. “As they grow older…”

“OH! GOD!” Willow pushed her hips up towards Kennedy’s hand.

“…they get uglier and uglier…”

Willow gave a loud inarticulate cry as she climaxed trapping Kennedy’s hand between her legs.

“…until,” Kennedy noted that Willow’s breathing was going back to normal and her body was starting to relax, “by the time they’re in early middle age they turn completely into a Deep One.”

“Wow!” gasped Willow, “you sure know a lot.”

“Yeah,” Kennedy tried to look modest but it didn’t quite work, “now what are we going to do?”

“Well first,” Willow grinned impishly as she rolled on top of her girlfriend, “I’m going to say thank-you for that very interesting lecture…maybe if Giles had used a similar technique on Buffy…”

“Willow?” Kennedy raised her head off the bed to better look at her girlfriend, “In those immortal words…EWWW!”

“Oh!” Willow sniggered quietly when she realised what she’d been suggesting, “Mind-you,” she continued thoughtfully, “sexual reinforcement of…”

“Willow,” Kennedy said warningly, “don’t go there.”

“Oh yes,” Willow grinned lasciviously as she got herself fully on top of Kennedy, “I was gonna say thank you.”

“Oh!” Kennedy smiled as Willow’s entire body started to vibrate making Kennedy’s skin tingle, “OH! **OH!!** Magic…wicked!”

0=0=0=0

Some time later, Willow and Kennedy were more or less dressed as they prepared to go out and try to find a magic shop.

“So,” Willow chose a top and started to put it on, “you think the chanting an’ all is connected with these Deep Ones?”

“Yes,” Kennedy looked at Willow’s top and shook her head, “not with those jeans.”

“Oh,” Willow put down the first top and picked out another, “what about…?”

“Better,” Kennedy nodded her head, “I remember there was something about cults worshipping Deep Ones, could be we’ve got one of those.”

“Are these things affected by magic,” Willow searched out her purse and put it in her shoulder bag. “I mean I don’t want to be standing around like a fifth wheel like when that elephanty demony thing went rogue in Redcar.”

“And,” Kennedy grinned as she put her wallet and car keys in her pocket, “we don’t want a plague of mice…you know the local council is still trying to clear that one up.”

“What else could I do?” Willow shrugged her shoulders and looked miserable, “So, you know, mice.”

“No mice,” warned Kennedy, “but I can’t think of anything that said you couldn’t use magic on them, but…”

“But?”

“Well, remember I was more interested in where to hit them,” Kennedy opened the door and let Willow out into the corridor.

“Okay,” Willow nodded as she walked towards the stairs, “I’ll be careful. We’ll find a magic shop, get some basic supplies then we’ll come back and tonight we’ll deal with these cultists.”

“If they are cultists,” Kennedy corrected.

0=0=0=0

Hiding behind the doorway to the bar, Sybil Fawlty watched as the two young American women headed out the front door. Quickly opening the door she quietly closed it behind her as she made her way over to the little office behind reception. There was no one about at this time of day; the guests were all out, Polly (the part-time waitress) would be out somewhere drawing something. The chef would be in some pub or with his girlfriend, Manuel was up in his room and Basil was no doubt hiding somewhere. Carefully closing both doors to the office, Sybil picked up the phone and dialled a well remembered number.

“Audrey?” she asked when the phone was answered, “It’s Sybil…it all went wrong!”

Sitting down Sybil lit a cigarette.

“You could have knocked me down with a feather when they came waltzing back into the hotel as bold as brass…Oh, I know!”

Pausing while something was being said, Sybil took a drag on her cigarette and cast a glance towards the door, she needn’t worry about anyone overhearing she told herself.

“Oh, I know!” Sybil nodded to the unseen speaker on the phone, “They won’t be happy…I’ll have to think of something, don’t worry the great ones will get something to breed with and we’ll get our reward…” again Sybil listened to Audrey at the other end of the line before saying; “Oh, I know!” Hearing something, Sybil looked up, “I’ve got to go, Basil’s back!”

0=0=0=0


	5. Chapter 5

5.

**The Fawlty Towers Hotel.**

Waiting in the hotel lobby (Willow had to run back upstairs to collect something she’d forgotten), Kennedy watched Mr and Mrs Fawlty bicker over a large antique moose head that lay at Mr Fawlty’s feet

“…and try and find time to put that moose's head on the wall,” Mrs Fawlty halted in her progress across the lobby and turned to face her husband. 

“Yes,” Mr Fawlty continued to study the wall outside the hotel bar and mostly ignored his wife.

“It's been sitting there for two weeks, Basil,” complained Mrs Fawlty; Kennedy had to admit she’d not noticed it before, she shrugged and carried on listening, “I don't know why you bought it.”

“It will give the lobby a certain ambiance,” sighed Mr Fawlty wearily, “it has a touch of style about it.”

“It has a touch of mange about it,” muttered Mrs Fawlty as she moved to study the moose head more closely. 

“That is not so!” Mr Fawlty turned angrily towards his wife, but obviously thought better of saying anything more.

“It's got things living in it Basil, it's nasty,” continued Mrs Fawlty pulling a face.

“It is not nasty, it's superb,” Mr Fawlty stood back and gazed up at the wall clearly imagining the head in place.

“I am not going to argue with you,” Mrs Fawlty turned on her heel and started to walk away, “just get it up out of the way I don't want to snag any more cardies on it.”

As Sybil Fawlty walked by she gave Kennedy a polite smile before disappearing into the dinning room. Kennedy smiled back; she’d noticed something in the woman’s eyes. Something that said, ‘you ruined my plans’, this made Kennedy think. Sybil Fawlty had suggested that Willow and herself should go to that cove. True she’d said how secluded it was, but Kennedy had wanted ‘secluded’ for a little outdoors fun with Willow.

“That’s a dark look!” Willow appeared in front of Kennedy and smiled; seconds later the smile disappeared from her lips and she looked worried, “I’ve done something to annoy you haven’t I…I mean I had to…”

“No,” Kennedy stopped herself from snapping, instead she smiled, “nothing you could do could make me annoyed at you…I was just thinking.”

“You were!?” Willow slipped her hand into Kennedy’s as they walked towards the front door.

“There’s no need to sound so surprised,” Kennedy arched an eyebrow at Willow who giggled, “I do on occasion think about stuff.”

“So what were you thinking about?” They were standing in the car park now, “Are we taking the car?” Willow looked nervously at the low, red, sports car.

“It’s a nice day,” Kennedy glanced up at the cloudless sky, “I though we’d walk.”

“Cool,” Willow grinned, “now what were you thinking about?”

“Mrs Fawlty…” began Kennedy.

“Mrs Fawlty?” Willow looked puzzled, “I knew it! You’re gonna leave me for Mrs Fawlty!” She gasped dramatically, “I knew this was all too good to be true!”

Kennedy looked at her girlfriend to see the smile on her face, she sighed, “Hey Sybil is so not my type…anyway, I was thinking she was the one who told me about that cove; as far as I know she was also the only one who knew we were going down there.”

“You think…?” Willow tightened her grasp on Kennedy’s hand, “The bitch! I’ll show her…”

“Hey-hey!” Kennedy brought herself and Willow to a halt on the pavement, “voice of non-violence here…and don’t look at me like that, Willow Rosenberg. This is strong circumstantial evidence, we haven’t got any proof so lets not be turning anyone into anything just yet, okay?”

Having got grudging agreement out of Willow not to turn Mrs Fawlty into a rat or indeed anything else, the two young women continued walking into the town.

0=0=0=0

Moving quickly through the dinning room, Sybil Fawlty opened the connecting door to the kitchen and peeped inside. Good, the chef, Terry, was nowhere to be seen; probably learning ‘self-defence’ off that Finnish floozy of a girlfriend of his. With no one in sight, Sybil walked across the kitchen to the door that led to the cellar. Opening the door she stepped inside and switched on the lights. Hurrying down the stairs she walked between shelves full of kitchen supplies and racks of wine.

Eventually she came to a battered old door that looked as if it hadn’t been opened in fifty years or more. Sybil had told Basil that there wasn’t a key for the door and he’d soon lost interest in what might lie behind the scared woodwork. Glancing around once more to check she hadn’t been followed, Sybil reached into her blouse and pulled out a big, old, brass key that hung on the end of a chain from around her neck. The key fitted the lock perfectly and turned with a well-oiled click. Casting a final look over her shoulder, Sybil pushed the door open and stepped inside. The door swung shut and there was a faint click as it locked.

Having switched on the light, Sybil stood for a moment gazing around the room; every thing was as she’d left it the previous night. Even so she moved busily around the room tidying things that didn’t need tidying and rearranging things by a fraction on an inch. Satisfied that all was in order, she knelt in front of the altar and intoned a prayer in the ‘Old Tongue’ to the Deep Ones. Once she’d finished she stood up and dusted off her knees.

The Deep Ones where not happy, the latest offering she’d sent to them had fought back and killed three of their kind. This was unheard of, no mere mortal fought against the will of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra. Sybil remember the time, fifteen years ago when she and Basil had first come to Torquay. Having gone by herself to the cove, she’d been sitting reading a magazine when something had grabbed her and carried her off towards the sea. She remembered the terror of the waters closing above her head; she remembered the darkness closing around her.

She’d not remembered anything else until she was found on a nearby beach the following morning. After a short stay in hospital she’d been sent home. Everything had been fine until she realised she’d missed her period. She’d never told Basil what had happened and he automatically thought that the child was his. However, at about three months she’d miscarried and the doctors had said she’d never be able to have anymore children. It was four months later that Father Dagon and Mother Hydra had come to her in her dreams.

They told her she was to serve them by finding young, healthy, women and send them to the cove were they could be taken by the servants of the Father and Mother. The Deep Ones had a strange desire to breed with human women; it was their one weakness in their strangely cold and emotionless lives. In time these women would bear the children of the Deep Ones and these offspring would eventually swell the numbers of the undersea creatures. As her reward, Sybil was paid in gold and jewels collected by the Deep Ones who had no use for such fripperies. Many of the rites that Sybil had to perform needed at least two people. This was how Sybil’s friend Audrey had become involved; now the two women were very wealthy and were planning on leaving their husbands and retiring to the Caribbean or Mexico, anywhere they could lead lives of luxury.

The two American women were supposed to be their last offering before Audrey and herself got on the aircraft and headed for the sun. The Deep Ones were angry (as much as emotionless amphibians could be); they were demanding restitution in the form of more offerings. So far she’d placated the Deep Ones by promising them a whole gaggle of teenage girls. But what the sea dwellers really wanted where the two American women to be broken to their will and serve them for the rest of their lives. Fighting down the urge to laugh manically, Sybil checked the room once more and headed towards the door. Tonight those foolish American women would learn the consequences of resisting the will of Father Dagon and Mother Hydra.

0=0=0=0

**A Magic Shop in Torquay.**

After a search through the narrow, winding back streets of Torquay the two women had come across the little shop hidden away in the corner of an old yard. The shop owner was a man in late middle-age with an eye-patch and an accent like a pirate. He’d recognised Kennedy for what she was the moment she’d walked through the door. Willow had been slightly annoyed by this; why was it people appeared to recognise the slayer wherever she went? While, she, the world’s most powerful witch went completely un-noticed. Getting over her disappointment at not being immediately recognised, Willow got into conversation with the storekeeper about the strange sea creatures that had attacked her and Kennedy the day before.

“Aaaagh,” aaaghed the shopkeeper as he leaned across the counter towards Willow, “it were lucky ye ‘ad the slayer there to protect ye.”

“Yes it was,” agreed Willow as she waved away the rum fumes that the shopkeeper had breathed over her, “now what can ye…sorry, you, tell me about these Deep Ones?”

“Aaaaaagh!” another fog bank of rum fumes washed over Willow, “They do say…”

Here we go, Willow sighed deep inside, a long winded explanation interspersed with ‘aaagh’s’ and ‘they do say’s’ and all manner of other pirate lingo. However, once the storekeeper was sure that he had Willow’s attention and was actually what she claimed to be and not just some tourist who happened to go around with a slayer in tow; he settled down into a conversational rhythm and spoke almost intelligibly.

It appeared that the ‘Sea Devils’ as the shopkeeper called them had plagued these shores since ‘time out of mind’ or even longer than that. They’d sunk ships and carried off young maidens, who they impregnated with their vile seed, for many a long year. The girls where always returned within a day or two with no recollection of what had happened to them.

The shopkeeper was of the opinion that at least some, if not most, of these kidnapped girls had spent a night or two with their boyfriends and where only claiming to have been taken by the Sea Devils to divert the wrath of their parents. Whatever the truth of the matter a proportion of these unfortunate women were taken by the Sea Devils and nine months later brought forth normal looking children. It was only in later years that these offspring would show their true colours and turn into fully fledged Sea Devils eventually going into the sea to live.

As the years passed and with the advent of iron hulled ships the numbers of sinkings attributed to the Sea Devils fell steadily; also the numbers of young women taken by the creatures fell off until it was only three or four a year. Then, about thirty years ago something changed. There’d been a sudden increase in ships being sunk off the coast. The numbers of young women disappearing from the coastal villages had jumped to three or four a month. All this activity culminated in an attack on the Royal Naval training station further down the coast by a whole pack of Sea Devils. Luckily the Royal Marines and Sailors at the base had driven the attackers back into the sea. The Royal Navy had later depth-charged the site of the suspected Deep One city and things had gone back to normal. Of course the whole thing had been hushed up, but there were persistent rumours that the Sea Devils had used some sort of advanced weaponry in their attack.

When asked why he thought that these Sea Devils had suddenly become active again, the shopkeeper had simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “…who can tell the motivations of fish?”

“Anyway,” the shopkeeper stood up from where he’d been leaning on the counter and grinned down at Willow, “now ye ‘ave the slayer on the case I’m sure the whole thing will be tidied up in no time, Aa-aaaaaaagh!”

Frowning a little at being reduced to the position of side-kick once again, Willow bought some magic supplies and a couple of slim books on Sea Devils. Collecting up Kennedy with her eye they walked out of the shop and headed back towards the hotel.

“What’s the betting,” Kennedy wondered, “that if we come back tomorrow the store won’t be there.”

“Huh?” Willow looked up from the book she’d been flicking through as they walked along.

“Isn’t that what magic shops are supposed to do? Move?” Kennedy looked at Willow expecting some sort of pronouncement on this legend.

“I don’t think so,” Willow shrugged, “I mean the Magic Box stayed exactly where it’d always been in all the years I knew it.”

“Oh,” Kennedy looked slightly crestfallen, “but hey, that was an American shop maybe ‘olde worlde’ ones move about.”

“Look,” Willow slipped her arm through Kennedy’s and smiled, “I promise that once we’ve dealt with these Sea Devil-Old Ones things we’ll come back and look.”

“Cool,” grinned Kennedy.

Looking at her girlfriend, Willow made herself remember that Kennedy wasn’t long out of her teens. Although she tried to act all grown up (and brought it off most of the time) she was still just a girl at heart who’d not had much fun in her life.

0=0=0=0

**Back at the hotel.**

After a slow walk back to the hotel, Willow and Kennedy paused in the lobby to collect their room key. Turning to go on up to their room they stopped to watch Mr Fawlty and Manuel try to put up the moose head that was still sitting on the floor outside the bar.

“Manuel, go and get me a hammer,” ordered Fawlty brusquely. 

“Que?” Manuel looked up at Fawlty, who was standing on a step ladder holding the moose head; he scratched the back of his head in confusion.

“A... hammer,” Fawlty said slowly as if talking to a particularly slow child.

“Ahhhhh!” Comprehension dawned on Manuel’s face, “A hammer sandwich!”

“You could sort this out in a second,” Willow whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “couldn’t you?”

“Sure,” Kennedy’s Spanish was more than equal to the task, “but this is so much more fun.”

“Oh, must we go through this every time?” Fawlty sighed wearily, before repeating, “A hammer.”

“You want to see my hamster?” Manuel was completely confused now, as if he hadn’t been before. 

“No, not your hamster,” Fawlty climbed down the ladder and loomed over the nervous little Spaniard, “How could I knock a nail in with a hamster?” Fawlty asked, “Well... I could try, couldn't I?”

Fawlty clipped Manuel around the back of the head and walked away leaving the moose head and Manuel standing in the lobby. 

“Get a hammer and hit you on the head with it,” called Fawlty as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Unsure of what he should do, Manuel stood for a moment before scuttling off after Mr Fawlty.

Looking at each other the two American women grinned and started to head for the stairs.

“Hold on a moment,” Willow stopped and gestured at the moose head; it floated up the wall where it rested in place. “That’ll drive Fawlty mad,” giggled Willow, “he’ll never work out how that thing got up there.”

“Bad witch,” scolded Kennedy without any great conviction.

“Yes I know,” Willow replied coyly, “I think I need to be punished.”

“Oh,” Kennedy wrapped her arm around Willow’s waist, “I’ll have to see what I can do.”

0=0=0=0

**A/N:** Yes, if you’re old and decrepit like me you’ll have noticed the slight ‘Dr Who’ xover there in the middle of the chapter. 


	6. Chapter 6

6.

**Later that very night.**

Having left Polly to close the bar, Fawlty walked out into the reception lobby. As usual as soon as there was any real work to be done Sybil had disappeared. Glancing at his watch, it was ten-thirty; Fawlty wondered where his wife could be hiding. Turning at the sound of the doors to the dinning room banging open, Fawlty saw his much despised and incompetent waiter manoeuvre a tray full of glasses through the door.

“Where's Sybil?” Fawlty demanded harshly.

“Que?” Manuel stopped and looked nervously around; it was obvious that he hadn’t the slightest idea what Fawlty was talking about.”

“Where's Sybil?” Fawlty repeated wearily.

“Where's... the bill?” Manuel cowered away from Fawlty expecting to be hit at any moment, he wasn’t disappointed. 

“No, not a bill!” Fawlty groaned as he clipped the unfortunate Spaniard around the ear; by a wonder, Manuel managed to keep hold of his tray and prevent any of the glasses from smashing on the floor. “I own the place!” Exclaimed Fawlty as he strode off into the dinning room, adding, “For my sins.” Bursting into the dinning room, Fawlty found it completely devoid of any Sybils. “Bloody woman,” he muttered under his breath for fear that his wife might be listening; he walked on into the kitchen.

The chef, Terry, was long gone, no doubt into the arms of that Finnish karate instructor-girlfriend of his. Seeing that his wife wasn’t in the kitchen, Fawlty walked over to the back door and checked that it was locked. A thought struck him; the previous night he’d made sure that all the doors had been locked well before eleven o’clock. He’d noted that the two American trollopes hadn’t returned from wherever they’d gone and he’d wanted to catch them out. Yet somehow they’d managed to get in without waking him, which was annoying as he’d stayed up especially to let them in and give them a piece of his mind. He wouldn’t be caught out tonight; tonight he’d make sure all the doors were locked and he’d be lying in wait for the pair of American weirdos as they came back to the hotel.

Having checked the back door, Fawlty switched the lights off and was just about go back into the lobby when he noticed light coming from under the cellar door. Tutting loudly he switched the lights back on and went over to the door to the cellar. Reaching inside he was just about to switch the lights out when he thought he heard someone talking. Listening carefully he realised that there _was_ someone in the cellar and it sounded like his wife.

“Sybil?” he called not too loudly: he smiled to himself as an idea arose in his mind.

Wouldn’t it be ‘funny’ if he locked the door and claimed that he’d not heard his wife down in the basement? He was just about to close the door when he heard another voice apparently arguing with his wife; if he’d not known better he’d say that was Audrey his wife’s best friend. Eager to hear what his wife and Audrey could be arguing about, Fawlty crept down the stairs into the cellar proper and moved as quietly as he could past the rows of shelves holding supplies for the kitchen.

At the far end of the cellar he came to a door; he couldn’t remember where it led, in fact he couldn’t remember ever seeing it before. Listening at the door, Fawlty still couldn’t quite hear what was being said. He stood in indecision for a moment; he could either, sneak off back up stairs and always wonder what the hell had been going on, or… Or he could burst in and say he’d thought he’d heard burglars.

Bursting through the door, Fawlty stopped dead in his tracks. In an instant he saw the altar like object at the far end of the room, he saw the candles all around the room lighting up the strange symbols that had been painted on the floor and the walls. But most of all he noted his wife and Audrey standing naked in the middle of the room (a sight that would haunt his nightmares ‘til his dying day) about to cut the throat of a chicken with a carving knife.

“Sybil?” he asked just as the world turned black and he fell to the cold concrete floor.

0=0=0=0

**Willow and Kennedy’s bedroom.**

“You ready sweetheart?” Willow checked the charm that hung around her neck one last time.

Having cast a few tactical spells, Willow was as ready as she’d ever be to face whatever any chanting cultists could throw at her, she didn’t really expect much resistance.

“Yeah, sure,” Kennedy shrugged her shoulders, he preparations had merely consisted of changing into what she called her ‘fighting clothes’. 

The only weapon she had was a favourite stake (which she steadfastly refused to name…after all she _so_ wasn’t Buffy!) she took it along on the principle that you never knew where you might bump into a vampire.

“Right,” Willow glanced at Kennedy’s watch, “nearly eleven o’clock. D’you think they’ll have started chanting already?”

“Isn’t midnight supposed to be the witching hour?” Kennedy walked over to the curtain and pulled it aside; all seemed quiet in the hotel gardens at least there were no crowds of cultists heading towards the hotel.

“No that’s a myth,” Willow replied, “the witching hour is one o’clock.” She paused for a moment, “Come on let’s get on down there and see what’s happening, I hate waiting around, it’s the worst.”

“I always thought the blood and the dismembered body parts were the worst,” Kennedy grinned as Willow turned slightly green.

“Oh thank-you so very much for that image,” Willow replied crossly as she opened the bedroom door and walked out into the corridor.

“I live to serve,” giggled Kennedy as she joined Willow in the passageway, “Now stay behind me and if I say run…run like hell, okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Willow nodding her head.

Padding silently along the carpeted corridor the witch and the slayer reached the main stair case without meeting anyone. The hotel guests were mainly retirees and were probably already in bed. Making their way downstairs into the reception lobby they paused; listening carefully they could hear movement from the bar.

“Probably that waitress girl, Polly,” whispered Willow.

“Or Manuel,” added Kennedy.

Moving on they slipped through the door into the kitchen, here they found the lights still on and the door to the cellar wide open.

“They must already be down there,” murmured Willow from behind Kennedy’s left shoulder.

“Okay,” Kennedy paused to look at Willow, “we just go down there and do our thing then we get out, no hanging about to admire the evil knick-knacks, right?”

Kennedy had sort of been wondering what ‘her thing’ was supposed to be. Unless Sybil Fawlty turned out to be a demon in disguise, Willow wouldn’t let her slay the woman. What were they to do if she was fully human? Shrugging and thinking she’d cross that bridge when she came to it, Kennedy led the way to the cellar door and started down the stairs. Indistinct voices came to Kennedy’s ears, she strained to hear what was being said but couldn’t quite make out the words.

“What do you make of that?” Kennedy asked as she and Willow pressed themselves against the wall a few feet from the open door of the room that was their target.

“Definitely sounds like chanting,” frowned Willow, “and someone complaining. Come on lets get closer.”

Sneaking closer the words became clearer. Willow had been right, there was someone chanting a spell, she could also hear Mrs Fawlty complaining at some length and in minute detail to someone.

“Fifteen years I’ve been married to you,” Sybil Fawlty’s voice came to Willow’s ears over the sound of the chanting preventing her from being able to hear what language was being used. “Fifteen years of having to put up with your constant complaining about the guests. Fifteen years of you sucking up to…”

“I can’t hear anything out here,” Willow tapped Kennedy on her shoulder, “let’s go break it up.”

“Right!” Kennedy grinned back at her lover before bursting into the room.

Kennedy’s sudden appearance shocked everyone. Audrey stopped in mid-chant and moaned in fear and uncertainty. Sybil paused in mid daub as she smeared chicken blood on her husband’s forehead. Fawlty looked up with wild terrified eyes as he knelt trusted up like a Christmas turkey on the floor; he screamed through the gag in his mouth.

A right hook sent Audrey tumbling to the floor, turning, Kennedy raised her fist ready to hit Sybil only to get chicken blood thrown in her face. Spluttering and spitting she was too distracted for a moment and was too slow to stop Sybil splattering Willow with what remained of the unfortunate chicken’s blood. Wiping the blood from her eyes, Kennedy managed to grab Sybil by her permed and back combed hair and drag her back into the room, she was just about to punch her lights out when…

“Hold it Kennie!” Willow walked across the room ignoring Fawlty’s mumbled pleas for help; Willow grabbed hold of Sybil’s chin and forced her to look at her. “What’s with the blood, bitch!?”

“HA-HA!” Laughed Sybil an insane gleam coming to her eye, “Fifteen years I’ve had to put up with that…that…” words failed Sybil for the moment. “But tonight I’ll have my revenge…and…and the Old Ones will have there revenge as well! HA-HA-HA! You’re all marked for DEATH!”

“Shut her up honey,” sighed Willow as she rubbed her chin in thought.

Hitting the woman in a nerve cluster, Kennedy stood back and let her fall to the floor.

“What’s with all the blood,” Kennedy ran her fingers through her hair, they came away bloody, she looked down at her blood stained blouse; “Just as well this wasn’t new.”

“What did she mean, ‘marked for death’?” Willow moved around the room picking up and looking at the small statues that decorated the altar.

“Hey,” Kennedy picked up a statue and studied it for a moment, “how should I know, you’re the witch…” she paused as she looked at the base of a statuette. “You know some of this stuffs valuable, eighteenth century at least, must be worth a couple of thousand.”

“Huh?” Willow looked at her girlfriend nonplussed, “How’d you know that?”

“Look,” Kennedy sighed, “I did ‘Art Appreciation’ at school, some of the course involved valuing things, I was pretty good at it.”

“Oh,” Willow shrugged, she learnt something new about her girl every day or so it seemed.

“Should I untie Fawlty?” Kennedy gesture to Fawlty, who was trying to shuffle out of the door on his knees as he mumbled incoherently through his gag.

“Yeah, why not,” Willow bent to look at what appeared to be a book of magic, “and tie up Sybil and her friend while you’re at it.”

“What the hell’s going on!” demanded Fawlty as Kennedy removed his gag.

“Shhh!” replied Kennedy as she cocked her head to listen; she was sure she’d just heard something up in the kitchen.

“Don’t you ‘shhh’ me!” Fawlty demanded.

Reaching out Kennedy took hold of Fawlty’s shoulder and squeezed; red hot pain robbed him of the power of speech.

“I said ‘shhh’,” Kennedy listened harder, she could swear she could hear a sort of rustling, slithering, fluttering noise coming from the kitchen above, “Um, Willow, can you hear that?”

“What?” Willow left off her examination of the magic book and went to join Kennedy.

“That,” Kennedy gestured to the cellar; there was a loud crash from upstairs as a pile of plates hit the floor.

“Yeah,” thoughtfully Willow looked from the magic symbols to the blood on her and Kennedy’s clothing, “marked for death,” she muttered just before her eyes grew wide with alarm. “CRAP!”

“Crap?” Kennedy glanced at Willow; experience told her that if the most powerful witch in the world said ‘crap’ like that, it couldn’t be good.

“Yeah,” Willow thought quickly and pieced the evidence together; the magic book hadn’t been much help as it was in a language she’d never seen before, but it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. “She,” Willow pointed at the unconscious Mrs Fawlty, “must have called up something to kill him,” meaning Mr Fawlty, “she marked him with the chicken blood and then she marked us so…”

“So, now whatever’s coming for him is coming for us?” Kennedy started to look around for a weapon, nothing came to hand. “Any ideas…?”

“No,” Willow grimaced as she stepped over Mrs Fawlty’s unconscious body, “we better go see.”

Following Kennedy out into the cellar, Willow could hear banging and crashing coming from upstairs, whatever was up there was really smashing the place up. As they got to the foot of the stairs to the kitchen the smashing sounds stopped. The two young women exchanged looks. The momentary peace was shattered by another pile of crockery hitting the floor and that same slithering, fluttering sound that they’d heard before. A shadow appeared in the doorway as the sound got louder and nearer until a hideous head appeared in the doorway above.

In the air above them was a great viperine creature that had a curiously distorted head and grotesquely clawed appendages. It supported itself in mid-air by one singularly monstrous wing. The creature that stared malevolently down at them resembled a hideous black serpent that twitched and writhed as they looked at it in horror. A terrible harsh shout came from its fang lined mouth as its wicked eyes fell on them.

“W-WHAT THE HELL’S THAT?” Cried Willow as the full evil of the creature became apparent to her.

“T-that’s either,” Kennedy retreated pushing Willow ahead of her, “a Hunting Horror, or…”

“Or?” Willow really didn’t want to know; anything called a ‘Hunting Horror’ was bad enough.

“Or,” Kennedy turned and picked up a catering size tin of baked beans and hefted in her hands, “Quetzalcoatl the famed Aztec feathered serpent god!”

0=0=0=0


	7. Chapter 7

7.

**The Cellar.**

Pitching the five pound tin of beans at the Horror, Kennedy watched as the monster caught it in its mouth and bit down. Beans and tomato sauce flew everywhere but didn’t appear to slow the creature down as it slid and writhed its way into the cellar. Looking around for another weapon, Kennedy flinched away from the blast of destructive magic that Willow directed at the creature.

The Hunting Horror roared in a mixture of pain and anger. It undulated in such a way as to send its coils snaking into the room. The creature’s long tail flashed towards where Willow stood and knocked her off her feet making her break off her magical attack. Seeing its chance the Horror moved down the stairs at a frightening speed, pausing at the bottom it found itself under a barrage of tinned peas hurled at it by an angry slayer.

The tins thudded into the Horror’s head and body, again its tail slashed through the air this time aimed at Kennedy’s head. However, before it could make contact with its intended target the tail was knocked aside as if by an invisible hand. Seeing her chance, Kennedy threw one last tin of mixed vegetables, turned, stooped to help Willow back to her feet and then pushed her towards Sybil’s little temple.

“Come on!” cried Kennedy, “I think we’ve annoyed it!”

“Hold on!” Willow twisted herself free from Kennedy’s grasp; she looked at the monster and muttered some Latin under her breath. The room behind them rapidly filled up with thick smoke. “That’ll slow it down.”

Pushing Willow towards the temple-room, Kennedy noticed a large deep-freeze, “Go on,” she called giving Willow a last shove, “I’m right behind you.”

Opening the chest freezer, Kennedy searched its contents for what she was looking for, smiling she picked up a frozen object and held it in her hands like a baseball player would hold his bat. Just as the Horror stuck its head out of Willow’s magical fog bank, Kennedy swung her deep frozen leg of lamb; she hit the Horror a resounding *THWACK!* on the side of the head. The creature paused stunned and blinked its eyes in surprise. Again, Kennedy swung the lamb limb this time hitting the Horror under the chin. Its vile mouth snapped shut like a door slamming. Winding up for a third blow, Kennedy didn’t see the Horror’s tail slither around to snake between her legs.

With a cry, Kennedy found her legs knocked from under her, she felt the loathsome creature wrap her in its coils and lift her into the air so her head was almost touching the ceiling. Shaking the hair out of her eyes, she found her arms were being held firmly by her side, Kennedy stared directly into the Horror’s eyes. She smelt its fetid breath and saw the malevolent gleam in its eyes as it opened its mouth ready to bit her head clean off. In desperation she fought hard against the creature’s strength, just as she thought she was making some headway it snapped at her head its teeth coming together with a sound like garden sheers slicing through grass only inches from her face.

The Horror screamed in pain as another blast of purple magic hit its body. Kennedy felt the monster relax its grip for a moment, kicking out at the creature’s body, she flexed her arms at the same time. The Horror’s coils fell away from her and she found herself sprawled on the dirty concrete floor.

“Come on, honey!” Willow reached out and helped Kennedy to her feet.

Looking back at the creature, witch and slayer fled to Sybil’s room and slammed the door behind them.

“What do we do?” Gasped Willow as she pressed her back against the door, “This is one of those monsters that you know about isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Kennedy pushed herself away from the door and started to move what little furniture that was in the room against the door. “One good thing,” Kennedy paused in her furniture moving, “at least it’s not Quetzalcoatl!”

“Oh that’s alright then,” Willow magiced a heavy chest against the door, “how come I don’t know about these things?”

“Oh,” Kennedy looked around the room, there was nothing else to pile against the door, “it’s probably one of those New World, Old World things.”

“What the hell’s going on here?” demanded Fawlty who’d somehow freed himself from his restraints.

“Short version;” Willow turned to face the irate hotel owner, “your wife raised a monster from hell to kill you.” Turning to Kennedy she asked, “I don’t suppose you know how to kill it?”

“Hey!” Kennedy complained, “There’s no need to be sarcastic, I’m trying to remember.”

“Sorry baby,” Willow was instantly at Kennedy’s side.

“Look this is all very interesting,” Basil wiped at the dried blood on his face, “but what’s all this nonsense about monsters?”

“Look you’re wife called up some sort of monster to try and kill you,” Willow explained once more, “I really don’t think she likes you.”

“Right!” Basil started towards the door only to be brought up short as something big, strong and angry smashed against the it; the wood started to splinter, “Oh bloody hell!” Said Fawlty in a much quieter voice.

“That door’s not going to last long,” observed Kennedy looking around the room for a weapon of some kind.

“It was the kippers, wasn’t it?”

The two young women looked at Fawlty as he stared at the slowly disintegrating door.

“I said they were off,” Fawlty slowly backed away from the door, “but oh no! Sybil said they were fine and now we’re all hallucinating.”

“We’re not hallucinating,” Willow glanced nervously at the door, “this is really happening!”

“Oh that’s all right then isn’t it?” Fawlty glared at Willow, “If it’s real then we’re all going to die!”

“THE WINDOW!” Kennedy shouted and pointed at the same time.

“Of course,” Willow looked up at the small window set high in the wall.

Gesturing at the window, Willow caused the glass and the frame to vanish.

“How’d you do that?” Demanded Fawlty as he was hustled towards the window, “I mean you can’t go around just making people’s windows vanish.”

Floating up to the level of the window, Willow climbed out into the garden.

“What the hell’s going on!?” Demanded Fawlty as Kennedy picked him up and pushed him through the window.

Glancing over her shoulder as she pushed at Fawlty’s flailing feet, Kennedy saw the Horror’s head smash through the door, in a few seconds the creature would be in the room with her. Giving Fawlty a final push, she jumped up and grabbed hold of what remained of the window frame and hauled herself out into the night. As she pulled her legs clear of the window a solid looking steel shutter appeared in place closing off the window.

“That’ll hold it,” grinned Willow just as the Horror clanged off the shutter, “or maybe not.”

“Come on,” Kennedy dragged Fawlty to his feet, “lets get ‘round to the front of the building we better get everyone out.”

Nodding her agreement, Willow helped Kennedy pull Fawlty around to the front of the hotel.

0=0=0=0

“Looks like we didn’t need to worry about the other guests,” observed Willow wryly.

The other guests were running about on the lawn as Manuel tried to herd them together like a demented Spanish sheepdog and Polly attempted to call the emergency services.

“Mr Fawlty, Mr Fawlty!” she called on seeing him, “What’s going on? There was all this noise and the walls began to shake so I got everyone out.”

“Nothing to worry about, Polly,” Fawlty stood up straight and regarded his guests and staff with something approaching distain, “Sybil just tried to kill me by conjuring up some beast from the pit of hell.”

“WHAT!?” Screeched Polly in surprise.

“Luckily,” Fawlty glanced over his shoulder at Willow and Kennedy, “Sabrina the lesbian witch and her friend Supergirl where nearby and saved me.”

“Oh,” Polly sighed relieved, “that’s all right then.”

0=0=0=0

“So?” Willow asked expectantly, “Can you remember how to kill this thing?”

“No!” Kennedy screwed up her face with the effort of trying to remember long ago wet afternoons with her watcher.

“Um,” Willow glanced at the hotel anxiously as the sound of smashing glass reached her ears, “I totally don’t want to hurry you, but that thing’s gonna find its way out soon.”

“I know, I know,” Kennedy walked across the car park until she came to a pile of building bricks; she picked up a discarded shovel and weighed it experimentally in her hand.

“What y’gonna do with that?” Willow had a good idea but she thought she’d ask anyway.

“Well,” sighed Kennedy, “if I can’t remember what to do in time I can always beat it to death with a shovel!”

Turning to face the hotel, they saw the Hunting Horror burst from the front door in a shower of glass and wood shards. It reared back on itself as its head towered over the frightened guests. Silhouetted against the brightly lit hotel the Horror gazed down malignantly at the screaming people who cowered before it.

“Oh!” Gulped Willow as she clutched hold of Kennedy’s arm, “It looks bigger out in the open.”

Gawping in a mixture of fear and wonder, Kennedy looked up into the horrific creature’s malign visage and wondered how she’d ever expected to kill it with just a shovel. In one second she realised just what a sad excuse for a slayer she really was. No doubt Buffy would have a handy rocket launcher or something lying around to take the thing down. But not her, no; she’d carelessly forgotten to pack any tactical missiles and as a result they were all going to die. She could just imagine what her Watcher would be saying just now if he was still alive.

The roar of the Horror snapped Kennedy back to the present, gods she wished she had her watcher here to tell her what to do. Her eyes drifted from the swaying Horror to the hotel; there was something about the hotel, something she should be remembering. The Horror, struck and decapitated a guest just before being hit by a burst of magic from Willow’s hand. The monster screamed angrily and turned to confront the witch. Blinking her eyes against the flash of the magic Kennedy picked up her shovel and prepared to fight to the death.

Screw Buffy and her rocket launchers, she’d make do with what she had…and then it came to her. She remembered sitting cross legged on the floor in her short school skirt as her watcher lectured her (now she thought about it he must have been able to see right up her skirt from where he’d been sitting…the perv!). His voice droning on and on about how to kill various big bads.

“LIGHT!” cried Kennedy.

“WHAT!?” Willow paused before hurling another bolt of magic.

“Light!” Kennedy turned to Willow and grinned like a mad person, “It can be dispelled by bright light.”

“Okay,” Willow didn’t sound convinced but just about now she’d try anything.

There was a bright flash of light and the Horror screamed in pain. Blinking her eyes against the bright spots of coloured light that danced before her, Willow looked up at the monster. It didn’t look happy, in fact it looked slightly scorched, shrivelled even.

“BRIGHTER!” shouted Kennedy over the sound of approaching police sirens.

“Okay,” Willow muttered quietly, “you want ‘brighter’, how about THIS!?”

0=0=0=0

**Later.**  
Having regained her sight, Kennedy watched as the firefighters played their hoses over the front of the hotel. She looked down at her scorched clothes and wondered if their things were alright in their room. Luckily her car had escaped damage so they’d be able to go home…once she’d stopped shaking that is.

“Honey?” Willow stumbled into Kennedy, “Is that you?”

“Yeah,” Kennedy put her arm around Willow’s shoulder.

“I ask coz I can only see big honkin’ balls of light bouncing across my eyeballs,” Willow moulded herself to her girlfriend’s side, “did we get it?”

“Oh yeah,” Kennedy hugged Willow a little closer, “you got it alright.”

“The hotel?” Willow blinked as she looked myopically into Kennedy’s face.

“They’re just putting out the last fires now,” Kennedy watched as the firefighters started to roll up their hoses, “the police are already talking about a gas explosion and the paramedics said everyone should get their sight back in a day or two.”

“Good,” Willow yawned as she snuggled up against Kennedy, “I’m beat, is there a bed somewhere?”

“Come on,” Kennedy started to guide Willow towards the hotel, “lets see if we can find you something.”

0=0=0=0

**Two Days Later.**

Packing away the last of their things, Kennedy looked around the slightly scorched remains of their hotel room and sighed. After two days living in a community centre, Kennedy for one was glad for the chance to get into the hotel and pack up their belongings. Surprisingly most of their stuff had survived the Hunting Horror and the following ‘gas explosion’. Now they could change into fresh clothes and pack everything up ready for the trip back home.

Mr Fawlty had been charged with several violations of various Health and Safety laws and would probably never be allowed to run a hotel again. Mrs Fawlty and her friend Audrey had mysteriously vanished in the confusion after the explosion. They’d have to remember to put out a warning to slayers worldwide to keep an eye out for the two women. They’d also have to contact the local slayer so she could keep a look out for any ‘Sea Devils’ trying to carry off young women.

“Everything packed?” Willow came out of the bathroom and put her and Kennedy’s toothbrushes in the case that lay on the bed.

“That was the last,” Kennedy gave the room a last look before closing the lid of the case.

“Not much of a vacation,” Willow said miserably, “in future I’m letting you chose where we go and where we stay.”

“Hey,” Kennedy folded her arms around Willow, “it wasn’t that bad, the topless sunbathing was fun…”

“Until we were attacked by sea monsters,” Willow pointed out.

“Yeah,” agreed Kennedy, “in future I chose where we go.”

Letting go of Willow, Kennedy picked up the suit case and led the way downstairs to the lobby.

“One good thing,” observed Willow as she past by the reception, “at least we don’t have to pay.”

0=0=0=0

Leaving the dust and smouldering ruins of Torquay in her rear-view mirror, Kennedy drove them out on to the motorway. Keeping the speed down to a steady seventy miles an hour she drove them towards London, after half an hour she glanced over to where Willow sat still wearing her sunglasses even though the day was quite cloudy.

“Eyes still hurting, Honey?” Kennedy asked sympathetically.

“Uh-huh,” Willow nodded her head, “just a little,” just at that moment she glanced out of her window and noticed a sign post. “Hey! This isn’t the way home!”

“No,” Kennedy shook her head and kept her eyes firmly on the road ahead; she was about to lie to Willow and she didn’t want her girl to see her face as she did it. “I’ve got to go to London, business for Daddy, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. What I’ve got to do won’t take long and we can stay in London for a few days, it’ll make up for all the monsters.”

“Oh,” Willow shrugged, “that’s okay,” her face broke into a wide grin as she thought of something. “Are we gonna stay at the Ritz again?” She asked eagerly, “I mean that would be so cool.”

“No,” Kennedy smiled as she heard Willow’s disappointed groan, “We’ll stay somewhere better…”

“Where?” Willow demanded excitedly, she couldn’t actually think of anywhere better than the Ritz.

“Daddy bought a penthouse apartment in Chelsea,” Kennedy announced nonchalantly, “he wants us to check it out.”

“Hey that sounds like fun,” Kennedy could hear the smile in Willow’s voice which eased her conscious a little; “is Chelsea ‘posh’?” Willow wanted to know.

“Oh I think so,” Kennedy smiled she liked making her girl happy; it made up for all the times she had to lie to her.

The End.


End file.
